Vegan Poem

ol’ colonel Sanders & holy McDonald’s,

children addicted to cola-cocaine,

pieces of animals, burning, wriggling,

crowds od followers of the fast food religion

in the waiting line,

accepting killing and eating, looking away,

– my fat is my burden, my fat is my burden –

animals with their damn bad luck being an article,

nominated to be dominated,

honored to be dishonored,


don’t pretend it’s not happening, don’t look away,

have a courage to meet your meat,

meet your meat, meet your meat…

and then try to eat.


– Vyvyan Ost


TOP 10 Donald Trump Faces

10. Say “F-F-F-F*ck!” Face

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9. Angry Rugby Coach Face

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7. Snotty Snotty Lady Face

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6. Gotcha! Face

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5. Big Painful Poop Face

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4. “What the hell was that?” Face

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3. Diarrhea Attacked Singer Face


2. Anus Lip Sync Face

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1. “Look, I am Putin’s helpless puppet” Face

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All Town’s Boys & Girls

All town’s boys & girls are sitting by the lake, pretending that the lake is a sea. Steve is a pirate, Martha is a fish.

“She is no ordinary fish, Steve, she is a mermaid, you silly, dummy, dumb dumb.”

Roger is a fisherman, he wants to catch Martha, but Martha resists because she knows that Chloe, who is damn fine queen of it all, is in love with him.

“She loves you, Roger, you silly, dummy, dumb dumb. You’re just trying to catch the wrong sea creature.”

Aaron is drunk like a cannon, Joy is happiness and the rest is just water between them. They are the happiest of all children, both of them are just sitting quietly on the shore, enjoying the beauty of the sea.

“I am drunk, Joy,” says Aaron.

“Why’s that?” Joy asks. “What did you drink?”

“I dunno, maybe I was drinking too much waves… with my eyes.”

“The waves… beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are.”

“And what do you see in them?” Joy asks and smiles facing the sunset.

“You. I see you in them, you silly, dummy, dumb dumb.”

They kiss like two kids usually do when they discover the right beating of their hearts. And hundreds of ants start rolling in their bellies while Roger is angry with Martha and Chloe is angry both with Roger and Martha. And for those angry kids, the lake is just a lake again. The sea is here just for Aaron and Joy

by Vyvyan Ost



Pistol Jack’s TV Head

Pistol Jack had a gun in his pocket while he was circling ’round the bank for the last couple of days. He needed money to buy a new life – the kind of life he saw many times on TV:

Celebrities, fast cars, hot chicks, Empire-State-tall glasses full of drinks, Cola-Cocain & neon glows in the center of the city, bourgeois parties, diamond eyes, golden teeth, velvet skin & smelly smelly cigars.

In the end, he really did rob the bank but was shot in the back of his head while he was running away. A picture for TV News: motionless body on dry ground, police sirens, money spilled from the bag, Pistol Jack’s brain spilled from his head, some old lady shocked & in tears, cold gun in the dirt. And – of course – one foolish soul, invisible, flying away.

The Coroner of this town – Steve Coldfriend – said that Pistol Jack was dying slowly anyway – that he had growing TeleVision tumor in his head.

by Vyvyan Ost


Fish is Meat, really.

“But you eat fish, right?”

“Of course, man, why wouldn’t I eat them when they constantly make faces like vegetables? Besides, when you’re killing them they don’t even make a sound so it looks like it’s not even causing them any pain … little slippery carrots and zucchinis who float carefree in the river.”

If I eat fish? That’s perhaps the most cliché carnivore question that usually follows immediately after you come out with the fact that you are a vegetarian or vegan.

And yet it is so simple: when I’m a vegetarian I simply do not eat meat. No meat. And fish are also meat. Yeah, really.