Fish is Meat, really.

“But you eat fish, right?”

“Of course, man, why wouldn’t I eat them when they constantly make faces like vegetables? Besides, when you’re killing them they don’t even make a sound so it looks like it’s not even causing them any pain … little slippery carrots and zucchinis who float carefree in the river.”

If I eat fish? That’s perhaps the most cliché carnivore question that usually follows immediately after you come out with the fact that you are a vegetarian or vegan.

And yet it is so simple: when I’m a vegetarian I simply do not eat meat. No meat. And fish are also meat. Yeah, really.

Sophia’s… choice?

So here we have the first robot with citizenship, folks. Her name is Sophia, and in my opinion she looks a bit like Jennifer Lawrence (is David Hanson, Sophia’s father, a Hunger Games or leaked nude selfies fan?). During her so far short life she already got on the cover of Elle magazine, she was on Jimmy Fallon’s talk show, and she even has her own Instagram, on which she promises that in the future it would be possible to bring back to life famous people like Marilyn Monroe in the form of an identical robots. Okay, I don‘t know if I should be happy about this one (although I’d like to look at the girl in that fine white dress with my own eyes, I mean… who wouldn’t), but on the other hand … if they can bring back to life Charlton Heston and jumble up some of his circuits to make him a nicer guy, then good for us. And what about JFK? Marilyn would be able to sing happy birthday to him again … I’m sure that it would be a major blockbuster on the internet (yeah, even bigger than some backstreetboyish Despacito or drunk President Trump calling Afro-Americans „blacks“).


I feel that this is the moment when our world is getting really close to all those robotic sci-fi blockbusters which our grandmothers have just recently called exaggerative bullshit. Well… it doesn’t seem like bullshit to me anymore. Just remember Arthur C. Clarke and how he predicted digital mail or video calls in his books. Or how he predicted such a thing that will allow us to comfortably search all possible information from what might be called the “central library” a.k.a googling on the internet. Now, without such things, we can hardly imagine our everyday lives. And in a few decades, maybe in just a few years we may not even be able to imagine our lives without robotic helpmates. Although… helpers. According to the creator‘s presentation, Sophia actually may not be here to help people, at least not in the first stage of her existence. Her current social function is quite clearly – to make it as close as possible to a real person in the public eye (and in the eyes of possible investors because it’s all about the $business$ in the first place).

That’s why Sophia ha her own Instagram and Twitter – just like you and me. That’s why she can manage 62 facial expressions, which is far more than Arnold Schwarzenegger showed us in Jingle All the Way. That’s why she does not have a problem to have a hint on Elon Musk during an interview, who expresses himself critically about the the progress in robotics and predicts dominance of robots over humankind – every one of us, from time to time, gets irritated by disgustingly rich smart-asses with their own space programs, right? And for the same reason Sophia also got on the cover of a fashion magazine dressed in distinctive dress – because perhaps every woman adores fashion and wants to determine new trends. Damn, it has already begun, just look at notorious drag queen Aquaria who has already stylized himself/herself into Sophia’s form:


And now look at the envelope of Brazilian Elle:


Do you see how Sophie’s transparent skull beautifully stands out on that pure white background? Do you see how nobody even tried to mask the complicated machinery in her head with some wig? There is a certain amount of nudity in it, don’t you think? More than anything else, it is Sophia’s naked otherness. It’s a perfect calculation – as if Kevin Spacey would show us the right Coming out instead of that impetuous statement to which he was forced by the pressure from charges of sexual harassment of a under-age boy. If it wasn’t for that scandal, Kevin could be TIME Person of the Year, a man who, after so many years, has finally dealt with his orientation and heroically came out with it. However, in this case, only contempt and social exile awaits him, no matter how tremendously talented he is, and instead of him, Sophia can be a personality number one for minorities – a girl with a transparent head who wants to make friends with people so much, but most of the people yet just do not know what to think of her. They may be afraid of her, maybe they will be disgusted, maybe they will despite her, and that’s also something that some of us can identify with.

Sophia’s creators pride themselves on her advanced artificial intelligence, decision-making capabilities following empirical exploration, and a lots of other achievements, the fact is that at the present moment Sophia is fully committed to their far-reaching marketing plans, humbly completes their planned events, and she is certainly not that far with her own personality to put her foot down and say: „Screw Jimmy Fallon, I like Jimmy Kimmel. I want to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s show!“ No way, it’s not about Sophia’s choice yet. And who knows if it ever will be. Gosh, it starts to be a fairly complex topic, quite complicated for a single article…

Anyway, yet we can only guess where the whole thing with the robots will eventually shift. Maybe Sophia will eventually get it so far that after thirty years as the first robot in the world she will accuse her designer that he did/did not make her breasts with nipples – if he did, he would be marked as a pervert, and if not, he will be accused of discrimination of robotic women. Yeah, the world is becoming more and more complicated, and it will only be worse.

Through Vomiting and Penises to a More Valuable Art

Okay, honestly, for quite some time the art branch is no longer as exclusive as it was in times of Michelangelo or Frida Kahlo. I think that we all can agree on that. You remember Vincent Van Gogh, who had to be financed by his own brother so that he could get canvases and oil paints for his paintings? These things are now much more affordable, although, of course, Van Gogh is not exactly the best case because he had a pretty large consumption with his super unique style – yeah, that eared boy could control his temper a bit and he didn‘t have to squeeze such a large amount of color out of the tubes at every “snick” on the canvas. Anyway, that’s what he was, he was exceptional. What’s important is that now perhaps every second person can afford a canvas and paint colors. A person can paint a couple of pictures and he can call himself a painter. And when he doesn‘t know how to paint, he comes up with some additional value to make his creation more interesting than it actually is. I mean – just look at that lovely Millie Brown (do not confuse her with Millie „Eleven“ Brown from Stranger Things) – I’m not saying that the girl does not know how to paint, no, but let’s be honest, would she has the same attention if she did not vomit on a canvas? Yeah, exactly, sweet Miss Millie is practicing truly original painting technique – first she drinks a bottle of watery color, then stands above the canvas, puts her fingers in her throat and starts to vomit all over the canvas. Whatever Jackson Pollock runs in his studio with open canisters like a maniac, spilling various colors all over the place, well, he can try as hard as he can, but this Millie Brown’s creative approach is just totally different kind of punk!


You can say or vomit whatever you want, Millie Brown really can be a good painter, but, in my opinion, she is first of all a damn good businessman. Nowadays, when everybody who has a camera immediately becomes a photographer (especially now, when there is a pretty good camera in almost every cellphone – and what can I say, who doesn’t have a cellphone today?), it is just damn important to differentiate yourself from other eager beavers. You have to stand out. You have to glow. To vomit like a devil.

Millie Brown just figured it out. People just don’t care about simply beautiful paintings. People just don’t care about complicated art either. They are interested in art with a story. „Hey, look, it’s  the painting from that woman who vomits colors!“ People are interested in exotics. They like shocking stuff. Stuff that will make them say „OMG, realy?“ or „No way!“ or „That’s just so sick!“


And you know who else figured it out? A guy who calls himself Pricasso. What is his superpower? Tim Patch a.k.a. Pricasso once told himself that he will not spend money on brushes and instead he’ll pain with his own sausage. And so here he is – a guy in pink costume who is soaking his nude Wiener Schnitzel in painter’s palette and is painting with it. Damn, that’s the spirit, right?


Look, it’s not bad, I can recognize people on some of those portraits he made. I’m just asking myself: would that guy be equally famous if he painted with normal brushed? If he didn’t dress like an idiot? I don’t think so. And that’s the point. The market (not only) with art is overwhelmed and requires artists to go in more aggressive and extreme ways to differentiate themselves from the mass in order to receive their desired attention. Let’s face it, art is no longer just about your skills, about being able to do something, to make something. Being the best in something may not be enough anymore. In fact, in some cases you don‘t even have to be average, you just have to be perverse or weird. I’m just thinking that if Van Gogh, Monet or Modigliani would be still alive, they‘ll probably run fast to Elon Musk into SpaceX, begging him to shoot them immediately to Mars.

Everything is Possible in Trump-O-Verse

If what Castaneda and Doctor Strange are saying is not a pile of rainbow colored bullshit and there really is more than one reality, then in the end of 2016 our reality just had to get on the list of dystopian alternative realities not so much different from those in which the heroes of the Hollywood films are unfortunate to get into and for the rest of the movie are trying to get out, simply because these realities just damn suck. When we were watching Marty McFly in the second installment of the Back to the Future franchise at the 90s as he walked through dystopian California which was so bad it looked like Detroit, who would have guessed that at the end of the Year of the Fire Monkey the Americans will elect Donald Trump as their new President – a guy who is a funnier (and unfortunately real) version of Biff Tannen, Back to the Future’s main villain. Yeah, at that moment the shit just got real.


Normally I don‘t care much about politics, but even so I was pretty surprised by winning of that Yankee hot head with the phason of retired Las Vegas electric bull rider. I quickly recalled one of The Simpsons episodes in which Homer encounters President Trump.


That’s an episode from year 2000! What does it mean? It means that we found ourselves in reality where cartoons can become a chillingly real. “That’s good, dude, look, they’ve got President Trump in it,” we could say with a smile from ear to ear when we were sitting in front of the TV, sixteen years earlier before the 45th US presidential election, and watching that The Simpsons episode called Bart to the Future. Yeah, its title clearly refers to that Back to the Future movie. See? Things seem to be coming full circle.


To sum it up – obviously we live in a reality that could also work as a prequel to that dystopic America in (as my grandmother likes to say to everything that deviates from the tendencies of traditional Italian neorealism) fantasmagoric comedy Back to the Future II. At the same time, a thing that used to work as crazy joke back in 2000 in the famous cartoon series in which everything is possible, has become real. And I mean – everything is possible in The Simpsons, right? So the creators could as well state aliens Kang & Kodos as Presidents in that episode, or Mel Gibson’s Viking alter ego named Bjorn… or even Paris Hilton’s chihuahua could be a President in this one as well. Anyway, for The Simpsons creators President Trump was still more funny against all these wild possibilities so they’ve put him into it eventually. And this cartoon joke is true for more than one year now, from time to time it is still funny but generally most of grandpa Trump’s clumsy manifestations are rather disturbing.

More and more, however, I tell myself that perhaps in this reality everything is possible – or at least anything Hollywood movies and cartoon series are about. I suppose I should start watching The Simpsons again to know what my children will grow up into in the next ten or fifteen years.